Dear Mao,

I'll cut right to the chase: I think it's time we take a break. We both know this isn't working.

The truth is, you have become clingy. It's not enough for you to land me once in a competition. You want to try me up to three times! And it's just too much pressure for me. I think it would be healthier if you started to see other jumps.

Let's face it - it's not like you've been able to commit to me. You pop me all the time! Nothing good comes from that.

I know that some might think I'm a tease because you still land me sometimes. But I'm not saying we have to cut off contact altogether. Maybe we could scale back to seeing each other just once per free skate, rather than three times per competition. The other jumps are getting jealous.

The worst part is that I know I'm holding you back. If you branched out into new jumping passes and focused on other aspects of the program more, you might be racking up those points instead of losing them by putting too much emphasis on me. I am selfish to be monopolizing your time like this. Mao, it's not you, it's me. Well, maybe it's you a little bit.

But that's why I'm writing to you now. We have to save this unhealthy relationship.

Think it over, Mao. You're better than this.

With love,

Your Triple Axel

P.S.: We'll always have the 2008 Grand Prix Final;)