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Skating with the Stars Recap

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So, last night ABC didn't know what to air after their Dancing with the Stars powerhouse so they were like...hey, let's do the same exact thing, except on ice and with even less famous people. It's moderated by Vernon Kay, who is possibly the most annoying human on earth.  Tanith Belbin provides additional (unnecessary) commentary, while the judges are Laurie Ann Gibson (who?  A choreographer.  Skating connection fuzzy to nonexistent), Johnny Weir, and Uncle Dick Button.  Skaters are judged by judges and voted on by the public.

Last night's premiere of Skating with the Stars required routines with two required elements (an obvious shout-out to this blog!):  a glide on one skate and a spin, either on two skates or one, side by side or in a pairs spin.  The show had to stretch to fill up an hour and 45 minutes but the actual routines were fairly quick.  Without further ado, let's get to our "stars":

Brandon Mychal Smith (Disney kid), Partner:  Keauna McLaughlin

Fluff:  Seems like the fluff was a chance for McLaughlin to show off her various skating clothes, including one transparent shirt that showed off her bra and one Flashdance inspired shirt.  Smith has roller skating experience, so that should help a bit.

Performance (to American Boy):  Actually not too bad - he did a bunch of skating and he even lifted her a few times.  They did side by side spins on one foot and their glide was a spiral.  So it was pretty impressive.  Dick said it was an impressive start but he had to improve spiral position, Gibson tried very hard to sound like Paula Abdul and said it was magical and fanstastical, Johnny Weir said that it was wonderful and that he should stay on his feet more, whatever that means.  Score: Technical: 16 Artistic Impression:  20  Total:  36.

Sean Young (Blade Runner), Partner:  Denis Petukhov

Fluff:  Young tries some fake arrogance.  I don't think she takes herself too seriously, which is good.  She is apparently the least experienced of the group.  

Performance (to Bubbly):  I thought this was not great.  She has some moments of grace but he basically has to hold her up through most of the routine.  The glide is just him holding her by the pits as she holds her leg out.  This spin is him holding her as he spins. Johnny says this was so elegant.  He got her channeling bunnies.  OK.  He says there is also room for improvement on the sturdiness of the skating.  Laurie thinks it is magical that she is in the presence of Sean Young.  She points out (in a good way) the way Petukhov carried her along the ice.  Dick says he fell in love with Young years ago when he saw that "wonderful movie that you were in."  And then he PUNS NO WAY OUT (her other movie) and basically says we get into things (Like this competition) that we can't get out of.  Then he PUNS BLADE RUNNER and tells her to "take off your girdle and let if fly."  DICK!  Thank goodness you are here, because the other two judges are snoozefests!  Scores:  Technical:  16, Artistic Impression:  18.  Total 34.

Jonny Moseley (Olympic gold medalist skiier - moguls), Partner:  Brooke Castile

Fluff:  Hey ladies pairs champs from the US - here is your future!  Brooke is also showing off her bra in the flulff.  Moseley is obviously a very competitive athlete.  He also seems really good.  Castile is a shameless flirt but kind of adorable.  Moseley pretends to be mad at times, but I am not buying it!

Performance (to Keep on Burning):  Moseley has a mohawk...nice.  And apparently got a kick in the groin in practice - thanks, Tanith!  Lifts and a lot of movement by Moseley...a pairs spin.  Kind of a mini backwards spiral for the glide.  They use this wrap-around skating runway thing.  Sorry, you have to see it.  They do a lot of skating around but I liked McLaughlin's choreography for Smith better.  Laurie Ann (OMG did they pick her because she has a similar name to Carrie Ann??? Ok, i will stop now).  She wants more dancing.  Dick:  Everyone knows that Moseley has the best knees in skiing.  He wants more of that technique in skating.  And better posture!  Johnny:  Moseley terrorized the ice.  He also loves the rhinestones.  He is mostly happy for everyone.  Where's the snark, Johnny!? Score:  Technical:  21, Artistic Impression:  19, total:  40.

Johnny Weir is now skating to WHAT ELSE???  Poker Face.  This is not new anymore.  It's not out of the box to skate to Lady Gaga anymore! But he's Johnny so he does a great job, of course.

Rebecca Budig, Partner:  Fred Palascak

Fluff:   I remember Budig from when she was Greenlee on All My children the first time around...sigh, I used to love her!  She has some skating experience.  And the best attitude ever.  All smiles.  She struggles with crossovers.

Performance (to Closer):  I would recommend a dress next time.  This leotard is weird!  But she is a beautiful skater.  Her glide move is a spiral that is possibly better than Yu-na Kim's.  (NO SHE DI-IN'T!).  They also do a  nice little pairs spin and some lifts.  Best so far, in my opinion.  But that may be my Greenlee love talking.  Dick says that was an elegant bunch of positions, beautiful pointed feet, posture, etc.  He hopes she gets less tentative next week.  Johnny thought that was so hot he almost sweated out his weave. HEE! - weaves are funny.  He loved it, it was incredible.  Laurie Ann thought she was like a beautiful ballerina. Score:  Technical:  21, Artistic Impression:  24.  Total:  45

Vince Neil (Motley Crue) and Partner Jennifer Wester

Fluff:  Neil has won a figure skating competition in his life!  RINGER!  Neil hadn't skated in awhile.  Wester thought Neil would be a headache and he is actually quite giving.  Lots of falling.

Performance (to I Like the Way):  hee.  Neil is not very comfortable lifting any of his feet off the ice.  His glide is not good, but it's done.  He always looks about ready to take a spill.  But he gets credit for the one-foot spin!  Wester does some nice tricks to distract the judges.  Johnny gives him a lot of credit but he didn't get the rockstar performance he wanted.  He wanted more confidence.  Laurie Ann is smoking something because she thought she saw that musicality.  Ugh, no way.  Dick said that he respects Neil for taking this on.  He says for next week to be fearless.  Score:  Technical:  14, Artistic Impression:  14.  Total:  28

Bethenny Frankel and Partner Ethan Burgess

Fluff:  Frankel wants to show America that they should go for it.  Also, she cannot say no to a reality show.  Frankel is her normal witty self comparing working with Ethan like a marriage.  She skated when she was little a bit. She is also competitive.  Apparently she deals with dizziness in spinning.

Performance (to you Spin Me Round):  Frankel is not particularly comfortable skating, but she doesn't mind being lifted a lot and pulled around in a spin.  The dancing has a lot of arm movements so I assume it was choreographed by Miki Ando.  She is no Rebecca Budig, this Frankel.  EW KATE GOSSELIN GO HOOOME (in the stands).  Laurie Ann says that it's fantastic.  She wants to encourage during the dancing that Frankel should relax the shoulders.  Dick said that she looks spectacular and is one skinny babe.  He likes the spins and the trust with the partner but he hopes that she is not so static...he wants more flow.  Johnny says he agrees with everyone and that her body is sick.  But the one thing she needs to remember is to be in it and give it her all.  He doesn't want this to be another part-time project...skating has to come first.  Score:  Technical:  15, Artistic Impression:  14.  Total:  29.

In conclusion...not sure I would be watching this if I didn't have a skating blog.  Apparently this thing is on next Monday again.