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Skating with the Stars Recap

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Show Two's required elements are a step sequence (should be interesting since half the "stars" are afraid to lift their feet off the ground) and a dance lift, which obviously favors the women contestants since they are mostly just being tossed around by the pros anyway.

Jonny Moseley and Brooke Castile:  Performing a swing.  Moseley has a groin strain, yikes!  Cute costumes.  Ok he is actually giving the steps a shot and he didn't drop her on her dance lift.  I have to give him credit for the step sequence.  Get ready for Dick to criticize the posture, though.  Ow...that somersault may have been planned but it looked painful.  Johnny Weir doesn't appear to be wearing a weave.  A can of shellac exploded on his hair.  He is dressed in a bright yellow jacket...blazer??  Weir was blown away.  In one week Moseley's improved.  He had real footwork, wants Moseley to look up to show the emotion.  Dick said it was especially good and he liked the straight line steps and lift.  Trusting and nice.  More puns I refuse to recount from Uncle Dick.  Laurieann says this is about rhythm and he had funk in his trunk.  I may start fast forwarding this girl. Scores:  Technical:  24 Artistic:  20 Total:  44.

Vince Neil and Jennifer Wester:  Performing a tango.  I wonder if Neil will pull off the steps???  Well..he still appears afraid to lift his feet off the ice.  The lift is just him lifting her up...then he dropped her.  HE DROPPED HER AND ALSO FELL HIMSELF.  I think they already did the step sequence but I could barely tell.  Oy.  That was painful...send Vince home before anyone gets hurt!  Jennifer Wester likes to bump it.  Excessively.  Dick says don't worry about mistakes.  (or killing your partner?).  He says to work on the skating skills.  He lost the tango.  Laurieann thinks he came out as tango.  Johnny Weir says there was an aura of intensity when he got on the ice.  He is happy that Neil got up and kept going. Scores:  Technical:  13 (although Laurieann gave him a 6. WHA?) Artistic:  17.  Total:  30.

OK...one of the issues with this show is that the judges are bringing nothing to the table.  The two skater judges know how difficult it all is so they are being super nice (whereas if they were judging skaters they would be hilarious!) and Laurieann has nothing to do with skating and, judging from her comments, doesn't know much about choreography either.  Usually on these shows we at least have mean (or crazy) judges that bring an added entertainment.  We are missing that here. 

Bethenny Frankel and Ethan Burgess:  Bethenny is another one who is afraid to take her feet off the ice unless her partner is flinging her around.  Also, she basically was only told that she has a sick body as her criticism last week.  She does.  And she is wearing a cute dress.  She is still having trouble with the steps a bit.  The lift is awesome.  She is trying hard to put personality into it...she is doing the Rachael FLatt face.  Step sequence is nothing compared with Jonny's but it is slightly better than Vince's.  Oh there are more steps..they are trying.  I like Bethenny but girl does not look so comfy on the ice.  Laurieann HATES Bethenny.  It is so obvious  She thought the swing was stiff.  Meanwhile, she thought Vince Neil was the picture of a tango.  Johnny Weir thinks she was better.  But he is a stone face.  he hates her too.  He thinks the performance is a bit put-on.  He wants to see more.  Dick wants to call lher polka-dot Polly.  He wants to remind her that every skating teacher says bend see knees 5 dollars, please.  He wants her to bend the knees.  Ok...Bethenny is not great.  I think she is the second or third worst skater here.  But these judges really don't like her for some reason. It almost makes me uncomfortable because they are so nice to everyone else and then she comes out and they do not crack a smile.  Girl must have made some enemies!  Score:  Technical:  17, Artistic:  16.  Total:  33.  The scores weren't as bad as the criticism.

Brandon Mychal Smith and Keauna McLaughlin: Tango.  Keauna's weird headress thing is distracting me.  This guy i sa good skater.  Nice lift, nice moonwalk.  He looks very comfortable on the steps.  They are doing some actual difficult moves.  Moseley's was more fun...but this was quite good and probably better delivered.  Weir says yes, that was amazing.  His head is going to either fall off or blow off, I couldn't hear.  Button thought it was spectacular but says he is hovering over Keauna.  He wants Brandon to straighten up.  Laurieann says Matador he is.  Well-executed required elements and good connection.  Score:  Technical: 24. Artistic:  25.  Total 49

Sean Young and Denis Petukhov:  Swing.  Ok, they are doing a cute little dance.  Young has improved a bit.  Nice lifts.  She looks more comfortable on her own feet than she did last week.  OOH then she stumbles on a toe pick and falls.  OH THEN SHE FALLS BACKWARD.  So sad.  It started out so promising.  I still think it's better than Vince Neil.  Dick stops to giggle before talking.  He says don't worry about falling everyone falls.  He says it's very nice to see her getting jiggle in that jiggle.  Laurieann thought she came out strong with the swing.  Weir says she fought for every single element.  Gave character and he loved it.  Score:  Technical: 12 Artistic:  18.  Total:  30

Rebecca Budig and Fred Balascak:  Tango.  Rebecca has a shoulder injury.  SHe looks pretty hot.  And this is the only one that has remotely resembled a tango.  She is fairly comfotable doing the steps.  Not as easy as she was last week.  Wow, that lift was nice...Towards the end she messes up but the steps are kind of hard so I am still impressed.  Laurieann said it was hot and intense.  In time with the music.  She says we have a competition.  Johnny said the lifts were amazing but he felt that she had a glazed expression on her face and he wanted sex kitten Lola.  Great skating but she should "act."  Button said technically it was good but rules are made to be broken and he said that her tango was a bit square and he wants more passion.  He wants to be seduced.  AND ON THAT NOTE.  Score:  Technical:  23, Artistic:  21.  Total:  44. 

Now we see the judges' leaderboard, and they add them to the people votes, and now we are kicking someone off.  First returning pair (in random order):  Rebecca and Fred.  (random my butt).  Also coming back are Jonny and Brooke.  Joining them!  Brandon and Keauna.  Yes, this is random. HAH.  Also continuing: Bethenny and Ethan.  Sooo it comes down to Sean and Vince.  Getting the boot are Sean and Denis.  Oh, too bad...I thought she had potential.  Vince lives to drop his partner another day!  But he has such a nice attitude about it.  And I have to watch this again next week.  AUGH!  heee