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Dancing with Myself (and/or with Evan Lysacek)

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Tonight is a big night - the dancers will get two scores!  One for technique and one for performance.

Erin Andrews (tango):  She has back problems!  This show is not really about staying healthy.  Starts off the dance with Erin groping Len.  Oh la la.  Then they get into the actual dancing.  I'm a little distracted because Erin's mean face reminds me of Kate's papa-paparazzi mean face from last week, but Erin is so much better!  But she's probably not really mean, so she can't do a better mean face.  Her steps are just ok to me, not as on target as last week.  The performance is also ok.  I don't like when she does the high kicks because she bends into them.  But I really like Erin overall...just not the strongest I've seen her.  Len says that Erin is better with the more lyrical dances but she did well.  He says she has to get onto her heels, too many toe steps. Bruno said she went wrong at some point and couldn't catch on.  Carrie thinks performance suffered due to the attention to technique.  (er I think someone in the graphics department screwed this up by putting the scores up on screen before the judges gave them out.  Very weird!) Score:  Technique: 18  Performance:  21.  Total:  39/60

Evan Lysacek (tango):  Lysacek is hot off winning the week last week.  He knows his feet are still an issue.  As his his hiney.  Evan looks like an old man in that ski cap and unshaven face.  They mention Evan's broken toes.  I like Anna's wavy hair.  These fluff parts are so boring!  Can't wait til he teaches her to skate.  Ok, right off the top I think this works for Evan more than the other dances...for what reason, I can't tell you.  They actually have a bit of chemistry.  He is doing pretty well.  OMG I think he is calling out the steps or just singing to her.  heheee.  I wonder if the judges will like it; I thought it was very good.  Bruno thought it was strong and powerful.  With a hint of catlike arrogance.  But he says he worked on those feet!  Carrie said the technique was amazing and the performance was a perfect blend of artistry and technique.  Len says that Evan steps forward on the heel which very muh pleased him.  Score:  Technique:  26 Performance:  26, Total:  52/60.

Niecy Nash (rumba):  AHH THIS SONG IS ON THE GLEE SOUNDTRACK.  But there it is sung by my idol, Lea Michele.  This dance is a tribute to her brother.  This dance is not going as smoothlly as some of her other dances, but she is still pretty good.  I really like to watch Niecy.  The dance definitely picks up midway and gets even better.  Len liked the arms but wanted more hip action and said there were no highlights.  Bruno said it needed a bit more color and that the hips never happened.  Carrie says that it was not quite big enough but her dancing is beautiful.  Scores:  Technique:  18.  Performance:  18.  Total:  36/60.  Too bad, I like her!  But that's pretty low.

Aiden Turner (rumba):  Edyta naked watch:  4.5/5.  He is not doing too much here and I hate when he moves his arms!  He looks like a bad magician (where did the lighter fluid come from!?).  Nope.  I do not like this.  Judges think he moves from his shoulders.  HA he totally does (TA DAAAA!), there is no flow.  Susan Lucci is so sad in the audience.  Scores:  Technique:  15, Performance:  18, Total 33/60.

I am so irritated by Brooke Burke.  She can't read her teleprompter (which is weird, cause isn't she a host?) and she seems like she's thinking about her next manicure rather than listening to anyone).

Nicole Scherzinger (rumba):  Thank you so much to my commenters for giving me the update about how these two screwed up last week!  I was wondering if that was on purpose to add some dramz to the proceedings, but as Lysacek improves it really does become more of a competition.  Scherzinger looks a little less steady on her feet than she has in the past dances, in the beginning.  She is almost as naked as Edyta.  This is very good but the action is a little...stilted.  I'm surprised; I thought it would come easier to her.  Ugh...I was not into that dance, which is nicknamed "look at my awesome leg extension.  Now look at it again.  GET IT??"  Bruno says beautiful but hesitant and a few stumbles.  And hip action could be more...something.  Carrie said she seemed out of sorts, but she liked the traditional line.  Len said the "sliding doors" step had exaggerated arms.  Scores:  Technical 25, Performance:  25, Total 50/60.  That's a little high, I didn't think it was all that great.

Jake Pavelka (tango):  I think he's better than he started but he's just not really a dancer.  He's kind of just walking/prancing around.  But he is trying.  And, oh!  The cheesy smile.  Hard to watch this one after Lysacek's.  ER he trips.  Len thinks he attacked the dance and he liked the enthusiasm.  But he had some incidents.  Heh.  Bruno said there was a lot of energy but it was very messy.  Carrie says the biggest problem is his hold. She says he is dancing his own dance.  I totally agree with that.  Scores:  Technique:  19, Performance:  38/60. 

Kate Gosselin (tango):  Everyone's favorite.  Obviously.  She says she wakes up and checks the  news to see what hell she is going through today.  I find it shocking that someone who is so anti-paparazzi and anti-attention actively seeks out every single media opportunity she can find.  But I guess life is full of things that do not add up.  Anyway, Jon Gosselin is suing for custody and Kate is preoccupied with that, which is understandable.  But Tony says that she is here to prove a point.  If she fails this week, "he" wins.  Yes, if she cannot tango, then her ex-husband wins.  (As do the terrorists, I suppose.)  Tony asks if that makes sense to Kate, and I'm gonna go ahead and answer for the rest of America.  IT DOES NOT MAKE SENSE.  Kate nods and says she won't let that happen.  Oh dear God.  America, if you have any humanity, let this woman leave the show!  Other people have advantages, Kate says.  She pities Tony for having been paired with her.  Her biggest challenge is self-doubt.  Kate does not want to get "voted off."  She just has absolutely no musicality.  She is just doing steps and music could be playing or not playing, it really doesn't matter.  But the mean face is gone, at least.  She looks very peaceful.  Bruno says that there is a mini breakthrough because she was dancing.  I don't agree, but she looks very happy so I'll go along with it.  Carrie Ann says that she's really proud of Kate.  She may not have artistry in her movement, but she has determination.  Oy.  Len says Tony has done a great job bringing Kate to produce her best dance so far.  Scores:  Technical:  14 (they totally pretended she did well and then gave her atrocious scores.  Oh, the judges).  Performance:  18.  Total:  32/60.  Hmm.

There are too many people left to recap.  I wish they would kick off two people this week! 

Chad Ochocinco (rumba):  Ok, this is not a particularly special rumba but it's good.  I wish he had some more hip action going on.  Carrie Ann says Chad turned on the heat and this is his best dance.  She actually thinks the hip action was quite good.  Len says improvement, best dance.  Scores:  Technical:  21, Performance:  23, Total:  44/60.

Pamela Anderson (rumba):  This is a good dance.  Pamela is a good dancer.  This is a little bland and I would like to see some more going on with the hips.  I never get to say that when people skate!  hee.  Nice split!  Len thinks it was understated and thinks she had some good steps.  Great dance.  Bruno says that she was elegant and sexy.  Her best technical dance.  Scores:  Technical:  23, Performance:  24.  Total:   47/60.  I kind of like watching her and hope she sticks around.  I can think of three people I would kick off before her! Heh. 

Elimination is tonight!