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Dancing Machine (aka Evan Lysacek)

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Tonight every single couple must perform a "story." 

Evan Lysacek (quickstep):  He of the broken toes!  Evan is really into Russian accents, apparently.  Why does he not love Johnny more?  Their song is from the musical Chicago and Evan is from Chicago,so that's kind of cool.  heh (not really).  They are husband and wife in their story.  Lysacek tries to tease the end, but we already know they are supposed to be in love at the end (spoiler!?!?!).  Lysacek is already mad because his "wife" is late for the dance!  I feel it.  I really like this dance, he's doing very well.  OOH cartwheel, excitement.  This may be my favorite dance of his yet..  Not really sure I am getting the "story" angle, but whatever.  Oh, apparently he was happy enough to dance when his wife showed up.  Len liked it but wants Evan to work on his feet.  Bruno said Evan was "ready to give her the ride of her life, and then he dumped her."  Heh...ok.  He also says something is up in the feet and to keep his butt underneath him - right?  I wasn't sure if that was it.  Carrie Ann thought it was great.  A nice twinkling.  Score:  26/30. 

Buzz Aldrin (waltz):  Story is him coming home from war and he dances with his daughter.  Aww.  This is sweet.  Buzz's best dance so far, because it doesn't require too much movement.  Lots of Ashly prancing around.  I wouldn't say he has all the steps right.  Because if I said that, I would be lying.  Bruno says that when Aldrin moved, he didn't really go anywhere.  That is a good assessment.  Len does not like his technique and the easy routine.  Buzz is going to punch him I think.  13/30.

Jake Pavelka (quickstep):  Indiana Jones or something.  She is a mummy.  Walk like an Egyptian.  Wow, he is really getting better.  He must have stopped feeling stupid and just embraced the dance; he isn't as bouncy as he used to be and he's pretty good at the quickstep.  Not as difficult a program as Lysacek's, but fun.  21/30.

Niecy Nash (waltz):  She is super emotional this week...the story is about interracial love in the 60s. She is kind of screwing up the steps a bit at the beginning.  This waltz is a little awkward.  I still don't think she's that bad a dancer overall.  Nice spin move.  At the end, Louis says they still have a ways to go because everybody should be able to get married.  21/30.  Then Louis says if we were 21 weeks away from being able to love each other for life, then it would be good.  Oooh, getting political, I like it!  I assume he's not referring to interracial love anymore.  I wonder if he will get some sort of talking-to for getting political on what is possibly the most benign show on tv? 

Chad Ochocinco (pasa doble):  Chad is trying to be sexy.  He is not quite pulling this off at the beginning.  He's ok at times...just more gawky than I expected when I watched his first dance.  There is no hip movement!  Score:  20/30. 

Pamela Anderson (pasa doble):  Charo sighting. YES.  I think sh'es pretty good - he is throwing her around a lot.  She may have forgotten the steps but I really can't tell half the time.  She looks like she's got it back at the end.  I can see how her target audience may not be the ones voting, but people, she did not belong in the bottom two last week!  Score:  21/30. 

Aiden Turner (quickstep):  UM HIS BABY IS SO ADORABLE.   Edyta nakedness factor:  3.5/5.  Not a dancer, still.  He is skipping his quickstep.  Actually, he appears to have improved a lot.  I love to see them get better.  He still has some Travolta moments with those arms.  So weird!  Score:  20/30. 

Erin Andrews (waltz):  Things get kinky in the fluff when he blindfolds Erin.  She looks gorgeous in her dress.  OOH near kiss in the dance.  Annnnd she is blindfolded in the real deal. haha.  That's quite a trick.  She does a great job dancing blindfolded.  Maybe better than when she can see.  Sometimes I wish I were blindfolded during these dances.  Her posture is looking a lot better.  This is really good.  Score:  23/30.

Kate Gosselin (pasa doble):  Ugh.  She is dancing to paparazzi. This song speaks to her because she has a lot of paparazzi attention.  UGH I cannot watch this!!  They bring in an acting coach because Kate lacks the ability to act.  She looks tough.  Oh gosh she can't dance.  She just kind of walks around instead of dancing.  BUT this is ten times better than last week.  Carrie Ann thought this was odd.  She says it was hard to watch.  heh.  Len called it pedestrian and points out it was just walking around (agreed!) and Bruno thinks it was good she played the character.  Score:  15/30.  Wow, so low. 

Um...my DVR cut off before Nicole Scherzinger danced!  But she is awesome so I assume she was fab. 

Doesn't look like Lysacek should be in any danger for at least several more weeks.