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I Won't Dance...Without Evan Lysacek

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Two dances tonight for the semi-finals.

Erin Andrews (Viennese waltz):  Maks thinks he has a chance of winning this season. Dear God she is wearing pants.  Those pants that look like an evening gown.  I am so distracted I cannot tell if the dance is good!.  The dance is ok but there are moments when Erin looks like she's about to topple over...not so steady on her feet all the time and it takes away from the dance.  But she's always enjoyable to watch.  Len says Erin made a giant step through the door to the finals.  Could not understand Bruno.  Carrie Ann says there is something she adores watching.  But that she was a little nervous at times tonight and she was able to pull it back together.  27/30, with a 10 from Bruno...I would assume that is a preemptive strike against Chad who is not as good as Erin is.

YAY baby pictures!  Lysacek started skating because his grandma had wanted to be in the ice capades, apparently.

Nicole Scherzinger (Argentine Tango):  This is amazing...the choreography is difficult and they are doing everything so sharply...Derek actually looked a little off on a jumpy thing, but I don't know the tango so that might be normal...and she has looked pretty perfect.  At the end she is not as dynamic but then they do this big spin thing and I forgot about that part.  Bruno says she was like an enchantress.  She is a love spell.  heee!  She slayed something and she enchanted something.  I am having such a hard time following him today!  Carrie Ann says she was brought to tears for the first time in a long time on the show and that what she is doing is incredible and there was amazing choreography.  Len says (this is the best compliment he could ever give) it was more delicious than his grandmother's apple pie.  Score:  30/30.

Chad Ochocinco (waltz):  Chad is fine...but once again, he just cannot hold a candle to the other three competitors.   Also I just fell asleep.  Carrie Ann says Chad nailed the waltz...and asked where he has come from.  She said he has posture and elegance and follows through fluidly on the moves.  Len says Chad is the only one with absolutely no dance experience...Len thinks it's fantastic.  Bruno says they have been harsh because they knew there was something there.  Tonight he is a star!  27/30.

Evan Lysacek (foxtrot):  Lysacek is not the type of person to really let go.  So it will take a lot of work.  Anna wants to find out what makes Evan happy.  He says..coffee, Calls??i don't know, and his nephew.  Ok, Evan was so legitimately adorable when he said nephew there...I am sure every single thing he has said on this show was super planned out but that was really cute.  Annnd then he loses it with his manufactured smile at the end.  LET LOOSE, EVAN.  Evan is channeling his Rhapsody in Blue days (or...what I like to call, the year he wore at least three different maitre-d outfits) and he is smiling, so he must be thinking of his nephew!  This is very adorable.  There is not the best connection between Evan and Anna, I would say.  He could be dancing with..anyone.  But the dance is really adorable...I like how Lysacek is flinging himself all over the place.  The steps look difficult.  I don't think he's quite as crisp as we've seen him at other times, but whatever he is doing works with the dance.  Len says we saw a different side, it was wonderful although in hold there was one or two little things.  Bruno is crazy still.  He hasn't seen dancing like that since Judy Garland and Mickey Rooney (is that a compliment?).  Carrie Ann says he completely got the connection to Evan tonight and that he was entertaining.  Score:  29/30.

Erin Andrews(paso doble) :  Erin grew up in Florida.  Insecure about her skinny body and hunching over because she was so tall.  Erin grew up dancing.  Just your basic ballet, tap, jazz.  When is the last time a winner on this show had absolutely no dance experience?  Andrews knew she wanted to be a broadcaster in high school.  She was 24 when she signed her contract with ESPN. Wow.  Then they talk about the gross gross horrific peephole stalker.  ICK.  Fun but starts out kind of like a junior high jazz routine...which is Maks's fault, not hers. WOW maks likes those ridiculous costume changes, this time it's for her.  This is a fun dance...it slows down a bit at the halfway mark but I really enjoy it...Maks almost collapse at the end.  I think the judges will really like it.  Bruno says she has been hot but she is naughty too.  He says she was amazing.  Her performance was stunning.  I think he said something bad but I really am not catching it.  Carrie Ann says something about her power and that the choreography was beautiful.  Len says he doesn't know what to make of this because he is a traditionalist and it's a funky monkey.  He didn't think Erin's solo part was a paso doble.  He's confused.  She's a talented dancer and he doesn't know whether to go with the talent or the dance or....29/30.

Nicole Scherzinger (cha cha cha):  She was born in Hawaii and she loves it.  They lived in a small home with 14 kids (aunts and uncles and grandparents and mommy. They were always singing.  Then she moved to Kentucky when she was six.  And her mom met her dad.  She felt like the ugly duckling because she didn't look like others.  She took dance and singing and she was a perfectionist in the arts.  She does a surpisingly good impersonation of Prince.  Not much to say here, this dance is amazing - she is a pro.  I mean, she is a pro dancer, but now she is a pro ballroom dancer.  Perfection.  Carrie Ann is feeling the aloha for her tonight.  Um, then she said she does these dances like the are cells from her body and she poops them out.  Awesome.  Len says that she obviously has to be in the final.  Bruno...says she is the sexylicious purple queen of the cha cha cha.  She is really much better than everyone else...I have to admit it is not looking like a competition at this point.  Score:  29/30. 

Chad Ochocinco (samba):  grew up in a rough area with alcohol, drugs, and guns.  Teachers told him he is never going to amount to anything (do teachers really say that anymore?  Mean teacher).  He is a cute baby, let me tell you.  Chad's mom did not have it together and she left.  Chad's dad was locked up.  Grandma raised him.  Chad knew that he needed sports to be successful in life.  He went to three colleges (various junior colleges and Oregon State) and finally made it to the NFL where he now plays for the Bengals.  He is a good daddy with kids who are as adorable as he was in his pics.  He has no dance experience.  This is cute, I think the samba is really a good dance for Chad - I am impressed.  His steps look more difficult than many of his other dances, and he comes off very natural.  This is a lot of fun.  He gets half-naked too, which hasn't hurt anyone on this show.  Len says that all the men have to take their shirts off in samba.  And his chest is just like Chad's.  He says that Chad got a rough deal tonight because he had the tougher of the Latin dances and he did a great job.  Bruno will never take his clothes off again.  heh, yeah, right.  He says Chad got it right.  Carrie Ann says that his technique is not quite as mature as everyone else's but his charisma lights up the room. Score:  25/30.

The competitors are coming back next week!  For the finals! 

Evan Lysacek (paso doble):  The pride of Naperville, Illinois.  Grandma bought him skates.  The mom says that he was very unusual...very driven and detail-oriented and he does things 110 percent.  THESE SKATING COSTUMES ARE AMAZING!  He had a huge growth spurt at 14 and he had to work harder.  He would change that he is very shy, if he could change anything about himself.  Scott Hamilton says that is normal for skaters.  Frank Carroll sighting.  He is proud because Evan is the most driven skater in the world (not the most talented).  Vera Wang talkking.  Kristi talking.  This looks like the background of Into the Woods.  Very good dancing here, he gets the red cape (skirt?) and does a the toreador action.  I think they really got this one right...His feet are great, nice ending, I'm impressed he didn't jump oh her.  Bruno says the best elevation we've seen in a paso doble this season, a paso doble with passion.  Carrie Ann says normally his movements are beautiful but they were guttural (good thing, apparently!).  she loved it.  Len says it's the man's dance, the man should dominate.  And it's difficult for a celebrity guy to dominate the professionals and he did it.  That is true, he really did.  I was more drawn to him than Anna in this dance.  Score:  30/30.

Well, my picks of course are Erin, Nicole and EVAN!  But those three had the biggest edges coming into the competition, so no big surprise.